Divorce Day: coping with a separation in January and starting again
Divorce Day is the name family lawyers give to the first working Monday in January. If you’re thinking about a separation, or you’re in the middle of one, you’re far from alone, and you can get through this.
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What is Divorce Day?
Family lawyers in the UK use the name Divorce Day for the first working Monday of the new year, because more people get in touch about a separation that week than at any other time. In 2027, Divorce Day is Monday 4 January.
Many people decide well before Christmas. They hold it together for the children, for their family or because the dates were already booked, then make the call once the holidays are over.
Why separations peak after Christmas
- Christmas puts a lot of pressure on a relationship that was already struggling.
- Time off together leaves less room to avoid the problems.
- A new year makes people ask what they want the next year to look like.
- Many parents wait until the children have had their Christmas.
If you got through Christmas pretending everything was fine, you did something very hard. That doesn’t make you a liar, it makes you someone who was protecting the people around you.
A track written about where you are now
You describe the thought that keeps coming back, such as 'I’ve ruined the children’s lives' or 'I’ll be on my own forever', and we write 20 affirmations around it. Listen on the school run, before bed or before a difficult conversation.
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An example of a track
What you might write
I feel like I’ve failed. I don’t know who I am without this marriage, and I’m scared of being on my own.
3 of the 20 affirmations we wrote for this example
- I’m allowed to start again.
- I can build a life I love.
- I can get through today.
More on this, if you want it. Tap a heading to open it.
How to cope in the first few weeks
Keep the days simple. Eat, sleep and get outside when you can. Big decisions about money or the house can usually wait a few weeks.
Tell one person. Pick a friend or family member who listens without taking sides.
Get proper advice. A family solicitor or a mediator can explain your options. In England and Wales, many mediators offer a free first meeting.
Notice what you say to yourself. Most people going through a separation have one harsh thought on repeat. Hearing kinder, truer words every day helps you stop believing it.
When children are involved
Children usually cope best when they hear the news together from both parents, in simple words, and are told clearly that it isn’t their fault. Keep their routines as steady as you can. Your own calm matters more than getting every word right.
Starting again
Starting again isn’t one moment, it’s lots of small ones: the first weekend on your own, the first birthday, the first time you laugh properly again. It’s normal to feel relief and grief on the same day.
When to talk to someone
Feeling low, tearful or anxious for a while after a separation is very common. Please speak to your GP if:
- the low mood is there most days and isn’t lifting after a few weeks
- you can’t sleep, eat or get through the day, or you’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy
Your GP can help with how you’re feeling, and you deserve that support.
If you need to talk to someone now, free, any hour:
UK and Ireland Samaritans, 116 123
United States Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, call or text 988
Anywhere else findahelpline.com lists the number for your country.
Common questions
What is Divorce Day?
Divorce Day is the name family lawyers give to the first working Monday in January, when more people get in touch about a separation than at any other time of year.
When is Divorce Day in 2027?
Divorce Day in 2027 is Monday 4 January.
Is it normal to feel relieved and sad at the same time?
Yes. Many people feel relief that a decision has been made and grief for the life they planned, sometimes on the same day.
Start again, one day at a time
Your track is written about how you feel right now, and you keep the file.
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